Lingurita de Umor – ( 3 )


 1). O familie de evrei  decide sa-si petreaca concediul pe o plaja din Caraibe , la    
acelasi hotel unde si-au petrecut luna de miere acum 20 de ani.
Datorita unor probleme de serviciu , sotia,  Rachel,   n-a putut calatori cu sotul
ei,  Shlomo , ramanand sa-l ajunga din urma cateva zile mai tarziu.
Cand Shlomo  a ajuns acolo , s-a cazat la hotel ; el a  observat  ca in camera
era un calculator conectat la internet , si  atunci  a decis sa-i
scrie un e-mail lui Rachel.  Dar a gresit o litera din adresa ,  fara
sa-si dea seama,  si  e-mailul a fost trimis la altcineva.
Tocmai  la o vaduva,  care  se intorsese  de la inmormantarea
sotului ei , si  care,  citind  ` mailul respectiv,  a lesinat instantaneu. Baiatul
vaduvei a intrat  in camera,  gasindu-si  mama lesinata,  fara cunostinta
langa calculator . Pe  ecranul monitorului  se putea citi cu litere mari :
„Draga mea sotie, am ajuns bine. Probabil te va surprinde sa primesti
vesti de la mine pe aceasta cale, dar acum au calculator aici si poti
trimite mesaje persoanelor dragi. Doar ce-am ajuns si am verificat ca
totul sa fie pregatit pentru venirea ta , vinerea viitoare. Abia
astept sa te vad , si sper ca aceasta calatorie a ta  sa fie la fel de
linistita si relaxanta ,  cum a fost a mea!
PS: Te rog nu-ti lua multe haine cu tine, deoarece aici este o caldura infernala!”
 2).
Anunțuri

Despre otnielabattzion - עותניאלה בת ציון

Evreica mesianica
Acest articol a fost publicat în Umor. Pune un semn de carte cu legătura permanentă.

15 răspunsuri la Lingurita de Umor – ( 3 )

  1. Raymond Amster zice:

    Good for you , Otniella ! They are wonderful ! I like very much these Mozart s shows. Many time I follow their videos .

  2. Nora R. zice:

    Otniela, si eu va doresc – tot cu intarziere – numai fericire in viata. Sa va fie drumul presarat cu flori , sa aveti implinire in tot ceea ce faceti. Multumim pentru tot ce scrieti, citim cu placere si ne imbogatim sufletele. Dumnezeul poporului D-voastra sa va umple cu pacea Lui.
    Multumim si pentru umor. Chiar aveam nevoie sa rad un pic in ultima vreme.

  3. Fredy indraznetul zice:

    E fain de tot umorul ! multumim ! Am ras cu lacrimi de haiosii ” Mozart „. Shalom !

  4. Albert Kindberg zice:

    Shalom , surioara Bat Tzion ! Toda , Merci de linguritele de umor. Vad ca ai doua. Le-am savurat impreuna cu Abigail si iti multumim printre hohotele de ras.
    Fii binecuvantata pentru dragostea si ravna Tzionului drag.

  5. Adrian Boluda zice:

    Va doresc si eu ca un intarziat ce sunt, LA MULTI ANI FERICITI CU DOMNUL ! Sa va fie viata un IZVOR de APA VIE PENTRU CEI INSETATI DE VESNICIE.
    Lingurita de umor este delicioasa. Am ras si eu bine ! Sarut mana !

  6. Iosif Joseph zice:

    Faina lingurita de umor. Multumim.

  7. Anita - Nehmina zice:

    Shalom, dear Otniela. I want to bless you with a special rejoycing Shabbat .
    Very joyful article ! Very kind sense of humour.
    Be blessed for Zion sake.

  8. Dana zice:

    Shabbat Shalom,
    Foate bine venita aceasta lingurita de umor .
    Va invit in continuare sa citim Pericopa saptamanii asa cum este prezentata de organizatia Messianic Bible.

    Here is this week’s Parsha (Torah Study), which is called Devarim (Words).

    This particular portion of Scripture, which will be read during the morning services in synagogues all around the world this Shabbat (Saturday), is always read on the Sabbath before Tisha B’Av, which begins this Saturday night.

    Please read it along with us. We know you will be blessed!
    DEVARIM (Words)
    Deuteronomy 1:1-3:22; Isaiah 1:1-27; Acts 9:1-21

    “These are the words Moses spoke to all Israel in the desert east of the Jordan.” (Deuteronomy 1:1)

    Last week’s Parsha (Matot-Masei) concluded the Torah portions in the Book ofNumbers (Bemidbar) with Israel standing on the banks of the Jordan, ready to cross into the Promised Land.

    This week in Parsha Devarim, we begin reading the fifth of the five books of Moses—Devarim (Deuteronomy). The book starts with “These are the words [eleh devarim] Moses spoke….”

    Words are powerful! They can bring life and blessing or death and destruction.

    “Death and Life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit.” (Proverbs 18:21)

    The Torah itself first draws attention to the power of words in the first book of Moses (Genesis), the first verses. In the beginning (bereshit), God created the entire universe with the power of His spoken words.

    In the Brit Hadashah (New Covenant), the first chapter of Yochanan (John) seems somewhat to mirror the opening verses of Torah. Yeshua (Jesus), the Living Word of God, became flesh and dwelt amongst us.

    “In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God.” (John 1:18)

    “He spoke and it was created. Let there be light, He said, and there was
    light!” (Genesis 1:3)

    The Connection Between Words and the Wilderness Journey

    “When the Lord heard what you said, He was angry and solemnly swore: Not a man of this evil generation shall see the good land I swore to give your forefathers.” (Deuteronomy 1:35)

    Parsha Devarim opens with the Israelites poised to enter the Promised Land.

    Standing on the Jordan, Moses knows his life is coming to an end, but before his death, he recounts to Israel their story as a community and as a nation and rebukes them.

    What should have been an 11-day journey, only 160–170 miles, turned into a 40-year exercise in futility. They wandered in the wilderness until they died – all except Joshua and Caleb.

    Why did Moses dredge up such an old and painful history? Perhaps it was necessary preparation for leaving the wilderness and crossing over the Jordan into the Promised Land.

    The children of Israel, who had failed to possess the Land because of their own rebellion and grumbling, needed to face the truth that their sin had prevented them from entering the Promised Land. They also needed to forgive themselves in order to move on.

    Moses speaks to the children of Israel in the wilderness.

    In essence, Moses asked the Israelites to examine themselves. How did we get here? How is it that an 11-day trip took 40 years?

    Sometimes we need to ask ourselves the same questions in order to finally exit our wilderness. What did we do or say (or fail to do or say) to arrive here?

    We need to face the truth – not about others – but about ourselves. Because, as Yeshua said, “Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.” (John 8:31)

    The Israelites constantly blamed Moses for their wilderness experience. In the end, they needed to face the hard truth: it wasn’t Moses’ fault; it was theirs. Their own negative attitudes and words had kept them in the wilderness.

    Through Moses, God told this new generation, “You have stayed long enough in this mountain. Break camp and advance … See, I have given you this land. Go in and possess it.” (Deuteronomy 1:6-8)

    The Hebrew word for stayed in this case is shevet, which means to sit, remain or dwell. There is a time to stop sitting in one place, and get up and move forward in faith. But before we do this, we need to take time to look at our journey and face the truth, repent, and determine to be obedient.

    Blaming others for our wilderness experiences will never move us forward or set us free.

    The Power of Words

    “Who is the man who desires life, and loves many days, that he may see good?Keep your tongue from evil, and your lips from speaking deceit.” (Psalm 34:13)

    Who doesn’t want to see God’s goodness in the land of the living? Who doesn’t want to experience the abundant life that Yeshua (Jesus) has promised?

    Then we must guard our speech from Lashon Harah, which is Hebrew for an evil tongue.

    God wants us to use words to nourish, encourage, and build up people—not to tear down, criticize and find fault.

    We see this principle in Ephesians 4: 29, 31:

    “Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers…. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.”

    Words are important, and we must never underestimate their power. When we use our words to criticize, condemn or run down people, we bring the same judgment upon ourselves (Matthew 7:2).

    So many sincere Believers are poor in finances, sick in their body, weak in faith, and just plain miserable because they indulge in speaking negative words.

    For an example of this, we need look no further than the story of Miriam speaking ill against her brother Moses in Parsha Behaalotecha (Numbers 8:1-12:16).

    Because she gossiped and spoke critically of Moses, she was struck with skin disease (tzara’at, which is commonly translated as leprosy).

    Words can be used for good or evil, to tear down or build up. They be so terribly destructive and hurtful when used in a wrong manner.

    That’s one of the reasons that the Word of God tells us to put on our armor, including the shield of faith to quench all the fiery darts (arrows) of the evil one (Ephesians 6:16).

    The God of Israel is a refuge from such words:

    “Keep me safe from the secret purposes of wrongdoers: from the band of the workers of evil; who make their tongue sharp like a sword, and whose arrows are pointed, even bitter words.” (Psalm 64:2-3)

    In Matthew 12: 36, Yeshua warned us that we would be judged for every idle word we speak: “But I tell you that men will have to give account on the day of judgment for every careless word they have spoken.”

    The Prophet Isaiah, like Moses, understood what kind of impact our words can have on our lives and the lives of others.

    While seeing a vision of the Lord seated on His throne in the Temple, he cried, ”Woe to me!” … “I am ruined! For I am a man of unclean lips, and I live among a people of unclean lips, and my eyes have seen the King, the Lord Almighty. (Isaiah 6:5)“

    Why did Isaiah, the great prophet of God, feel completely undone in God’s presence? What brought on this terrible sense of his own sinfulness in contrast to the holiness of God?

    By his own admission, it was because he was a man of unclean lips and he lived among a people of unclean lips (Isaiah 6:5).

    Haftarah Devarim (Prophetic Portion)

    “Your hands are full of blood; wash and make yourselves clean. … Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow.” (Isaiah 1: 16, 18)

    This week’s haftarah is one of three called the Haftarot of Rebuke that precede the Fast of Tisha B’Av.

    This is a fast day of mourning for the destruction of both of the Holy Temples, the first by the Babylonians (586 BC) and the second by the Romans (AD 68).

    Though separated by hundreds of years, the Temples were both destroyed and Jerusalem conquered on the exact same day.

    But why mourn about something that happened so long ago, you might wonder? The answer is that horrible things have happened on this day; for instance, World War I began on the 9th (tisha) of the month of Av.

    Tisha B’Av and the weeks leading up to it are therefore, a period of somber reflection and much prayer. It’s a time for facing the truth about our sins and asking God’s forgiveness.

    Many Jewish people today don’t realize that Jerusalem was overthrown, the Temples destroyed and the people sent into exile because of God’s judgment for their sins.

    Orthodox Jewish man reading the Torah. The Word of God cleanses
    and renews our mind and soul (Ephesians 5:26).

    The breakdown of morality in the nation of Israel was directly responsible for devastation, famine, defeat, exile and death. The Babylonians and Romans were only God’s agents to carry out His judgment.

    The prophet Jeremiah tried to warn the people, but to no avail.

    “If you are willing and obedient, you will eat the best from the land; but if you resist and rebel, you will be devoured by the sword.” (Isaiah 1:19-20)

    Today, we have modern day prophets also calling for the nation to repent and return to God’s standards of morality and holiness.

    If we are following the morality and standards of those around us, we are making the very same mistake that brought about the destruction of Jerusalem and the Holy Temples on Tisha B’Av.

    We must look at the destruction in our lives, assess the damage, and repent of the sins that we have committed. History has a way of repeating when we don’t learn the lessons.

    As Believers in Yeshua, we no longer belong to ourselves; our bodies are a temple of the Ruach HaKodesh (Holy Spirit) (1 Corinthians 6:19).

    Let us, therefore, be sanctified, cleansed and made holy (kadosh) in body, mind and spirit for the coming of our Lord Yeshua HaMashiach (the Messiah).

    Shabbat Shalom!

  9. Paul zice:

    Ha, ha, ha…..Buna de tot ! Dar unde-o fi ajuns sotul doamnei ? In iad ?
    Asa se pare …Sarut mana !

  10. Rudy Morrison zice:

    Dear Otniella , I thanks for this wonderful spoon of humour. I was laughing more about Mozarts. I hope I understood well the joke about the this jewish couple and the widow.
    It s a privilege to read your site. Your work is great, praise the Lord. Be blessed in the Name of Messiah , keeping up HIs Torch.

  11. Filip zice:

    Sarut mainile , domnisoara Otniela. E draguta lingurita dvs de umor. Si cei de la Mozart sunt extraordinari. Chiar imi place acest blog cu de toate. Shalom si tineti-o tot asa.

  12. David J. Stoenescu zice:

    Shalom. E buna gluma …da, cred ca in iad ar fi ajuns , devreme ce doamna s-a speriat si a lesinat….si sfatul din ps : sa nu-ti iei multe haine, e o caldura infernala aici. E un umor mai negru.

  13. Adina S. zice:

    Shalom. Foarte simpatica gluma. Multumesc frumos.

  14. Shalom , Prieteni ! Fiti bineveniti cu totii la acest topic ! Ma bucur ca v-a placut ” lingurita aceasta de umor, ” ca v-ati facut timp sa mai si zambiti , printre atatea lucruri serioase.
    Dumnezeul lui Israel sa fie cu voi. Shavua Tov !

    • Shalom, Dear Friends ! As usually you are Welcome to this topic , as everyone`s. I `m glad you have considered this topic tasteful enough to come and visit my site. Indeed is good to find some spare time for smiling , among so many serious things that life throws to us each day in our life.
      May God of Israel be always with you. Shavua Tov !

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